there's always time (days spent in)

gladly missing the pressure of 

before sunrise. 

we're gladly running things according to plan. 

and the last time i saw you?

well i haven't been thinking about that. 

justifying nothing, i'm still aware. 

the sun is teasing us with its warmness. 

i need to feel the crunch of the leaves

i need to feel the tenderness of the calm cold days we have

because we only have but so many. 

trading being awake for more dreams. 

i feel like i'm teaching the wind how to blow. 

the opposite of panic.

like wearing our favorite shoes in the rain. 

we smile, we know where we're going. 

because we have something to hold onto.

something more than a memory 

of unpersonal chatter across a screen. 

they told me to watch out,

i hid my face in my hands 

smiling. 

way to late, but way to early. 

i'll take the route that makes more sense.

the sound of what's to come (is nothing, is something)

laying in bed 

dreaming about nothing. 

taking the next level to nothing.

i feel neutral, 

i haven't felt better. 

stop pushing, start listening, keep trusting.

but to think...

i would've been jumping out of my skin about a month ago. 

calmness pays off. 

we make unsaid movements. 

yes, doubt looms. 

but i can't take back how i feel. 

laughing in the mist, 

we don't have to apologize anymore.

we rest in alleyways dedicated to our future.

i'm getting used to this. 

not obvious 

not un-obvious. 

only to realize, its the nothing thats something. 

sleeping to dream about what could be. 

awaiting what is. 

mocking tables.

under the bus stop 

friends with the wind. 

waiting for the sunlight to let me in. 

still. 

i don't know why i let this take over my mental capacity. 

standing still. 

i'm not setting anything for anyone. 

i'm sorry about being friends with time. 

(but I still have no patience) 

we're still working 

i'm just not sure if its for or against this. 

title for wave.

confidence creeps in. 

everything lessens 

or becomes greater than it actually is. 

waking up before sunrise 

i know how bad it gets 

but i also know how good 

it can become. 

risen from a hole 

that seemed it could only get deeper. 

peering down into that hole 

i realize there's others down there, 

not knowing that they subconsciously want out. 

i keep my lips sealed. 

i don't know your deep-surface secrets. 

solo no. 3

just breath. 

moral support 

from somethings/someone unexpected. 

of course, of course. 

completely on my side. 

maybe all along,

maybe just today. 

oh, we'll see tomorrow. 

i want the weather to just break out 

in it's major threat of coldness. 

stop teasing us with 

brisk winds 

and a strong sun. 

ignore this-this is just all i have at the moment.

strangled conversations. 

or maybe thats just me being misled. 

maybe i'm trying to convince myself that i'll be okay alone. 

just the same. 

i'm never really alone. 

but I may be making up strains 

that aren't really there. 

can i see with clearness? 

the wind is my partner in sleep. 

we're both chased by the moon, 

the clouds can't fool us we can still see them. 

when the sun hits in slots across my arm from the curtains,

the curtains breath with the wind in its lungs. 

i'm inside the body of the earth. 

rapidly getting caught up in my own mind. 

only to look out and notice 

that there's more sky 

and more time 

that doesn't seem like time. 

this is half asleep in the morning. 

so confusing but it all makes sense.

back to dreams, face to reality.

maybe we'll never get past these quiet days. 

i try to remind myself to be proudest 

of the things i've worked hard far. 

one of those things aren't you. 

but am i really supposed to work hard for your heart

when i know that i can't turn a heart

against its will. 

i see the truth, 

but my hopes and dreams surpass it. 

because everything's not always how it seems. 

but i could be wrong. 

oh, how i could be so wrong about everything. 

continuing dream of being awake.

because i know better than to switch my arrows around. 

missing sunrise

meeting sunset. 

i'm not done 

i'm just being practical. 

new things 

to fight against the wind 

thats only going to come harder. 

letting the capturer be captured.

i'm not ever thinking about waiting. 

our days in september stare back at us.

the rise and fall of the curtains put me to sleep. 

blowing reassuring breezes on my 

paralyzed body. 

i woke up and the sun woke up with me, 

knowing that rain clouds wouldn't 

gray over their day. 

pinks caress the normal white clouds

the cold wind breezes over the warm air. 

the feeling of summer is lost, 

the feeling of fall is amidst the trees. 

they only know, 

we can only guess. 

what we would be without this?

the days we're silenced to nothing 

our eyes don't even make suggestive glances back. 

but your still there. 

and i'm still here. 

i step out to face a fogged mirror. 

in my head i'm holding onto to all of my hope. 

in my actions i'm showing nothing but reluctance. 

it seems complicated 

and then i realize that it's normal symptoms. 

brought down. 

we're dreamers, and only dreamers. 

but we're not afraid to work for the dream. 

the shadow in front of me, the shadow that mirrors me, and the shadow behind me.

you see the smile lines in my eyes 

even that's obvious these days

invisible countdowns to nothing

but i have to much hope to give up 

to many dreams worth dreaming 

passing by like cars 

these thoughts drive through my head

we're hidden from rain 

under the trees

i don't want to not know what i have 

but i don't want to dwell on what i don't have. 

ditching friends for moods. 

these ideas we have in our youth. 

redundant wet pavement.

when will the leaves set in? 

the air become brisk with purpose? 

what is the wait for? 

when we're ready to settle into an unwanted season, 

the presence of summer lingers 

with still cold air reminding us whats on the way,

we're not completely off the hook. 

i squint my eyes 

while the rain gets caught in my eyelashes. 

inside we know what to say 

but outside we're just small adjustments to the environment. 

through a glass window 

last years clothes. 

are we happy with the years that change us? 

everyday feels like a continuation of the previous day...(this is the continuing sunrise & darkness).

for for. 

saving to give it away for...? 

missing the blues. 

obviously i can only take it 

once a year. 

i want to be angry 

but i'm filled with calm. 

there's butterflies in my stomach. 

i'm still not sure why. 

i missed the smile this morning, 

but i decided not to care. 

today was neutral. 

...and we wallow in rain-soaked gardens.

pleasing the crowd with nothing to muster. 

we're mannequins glancing from side to side

wondering what we can mimic.

give me some new lines, 

i'll give you a novel of confusion. 

i never know when to break 

and when to break it out. 

sunrise ideas.

because, yes, it's officially over. 

those long heated days that we complained about, 

but would never give up. 

not for this anyway, 

not for the unbearable cold thats slowly making it's way. 

feeling unreasonable. 

i feel like your the entertainer 

and i'm letting you entertain me, when i 

really should just be turning the other way. 

but being that it's that early in the morning, 

so early the sun doesn't even want to show its face, 

i fall into the blushing trap. 

i'm caught between your reality 

and my fantasy. 

crossing the two between my fingers. 

but i wish to trade with no one, our mind is all we can bear to have for ourselves. 

until it doesn't feel real.

power outage to my brain. 

we've seen these faces before. 

what once drew me in 

doesn't phase me 

doesn't pull me in for more. 

when i was anonymously plaintive:

the walls felt numb

my mind felt removed 

the moon was just an instigator. 

i want to end with cradle, 

but there's nothing to hold on to 

but my own two arms. 

the flashing lights are being destroyed.

we'll be walking on what once was.

timeless rain.

perfumed ideas. 

this is the not getting what you want

so when you get something you need

you know its really worth it. 

the opposite of a dropout

holding on to what's left

and the dream of what is. 

I'm still trying to figure out 

why night time comes so early 

now. 

we need love without question.

it all falls down the same. 

not quitting just stopping. 

pulling the reigns before 

they slip out of my hands. 

i'm grasping on to loose ends 

i thought i'd thrown out. 

i'm never decided 

it's hard to roll around with 

whats expected to come. 

so much for so much. 

the weather won't cool 

and my thoughts won't stop 

heating up my mind. 

where's the wind-

i need it to help me breathe. 

new eyes.

the heaviness of doubt. 

table turning hearts. 

we know where we don't belong. 

tangled between ignorance 

and arm bending tales 

of the non-regretful past that is their present. 

not renewing just continuing in 

a downward spiral. 

it will surprise me if it last for long 

and it will last for long without me, if so. 

it's easier to accept it. 

"don't get your hopes up" mindset. 

nail biting tables. 

just honestly i don't care.