a moment of silence for the fear that haunts me.

I will look down into the crease of my arm 

my veins will lack definition. 

A mass of bruise-colored skin floating above 

my invisible blood. 

Blue tape, white walls, and everything in between. 

The planned chaos. 

And the cries of help 

will float above like careless ghosts. 

I haunt my insides, and the life that surrounds me. 

Coffin-like posture. 

There is no confirmation, just imagination. 

And it's eating me alive. 

solutions.

I will hold on to everything in my heart, 

but let it all go with my hands. 

The sunrise is a drug. 

I am the symptoms. 

And all of this want is a dream. 

Living opposites,  

breakthrough moments. 

The summer ends before fall, 

so we have to the sun to look forward to again.

shaking with want.

Why did I leave? 

Did I have to come back? 

This place is no longer home. 

I've said all the things I've needed to say here. 

I've done all the things that I've needed to do here. 

But I guess it's just like that week in July. 

Push through and be aware of the good times. 

But I just want to faint and wash it all away. 

open up the sound.

If I made a grave for everything that hurt me,

I would buried them deep, deep into the soil. 

So they don't find us and hurt us again.

Today happens to be today,

so I'm stalling until tomorrow. 

But by then I'll be lost in a thousand yesterdays. 

5:06pm

When I come home, 

I'm at the bottom of the grave.

"it's summertime and at the moment I hate everything." 

Take me back. 

The fog fed me. 

the fog feeds the city. (two)

What is this
acceptance to being broken?
When being whole is the only
way to feel real.
I'm addicted to this sunlight.
Year-round perfection.
It's hard to bite your toungue and
go back to where you were born,
where you were raised,
where you were dissapointed,
where you fell in love.
Nothing is different, but everything is the same.
I want to stay in this place.
Closer to the sky.
The ocean becomes the blood running through my veins.
I'm not sinking here, just swimming.
But I'm going back.
Back to the straight-line, state-of-mind.
But I'll be dreaming, and I'll return.

the fog eats the city. (one)

I might watch you go by like a cloud,
fall apart to the sound of your voice.
Burn the memories that haunt the patterns of my brain.
This is nothing but everything at the same time.
Where are you when you're not in my thoughts?

this is what it looks like from the sky.

I wanted to stay away.
'welcome back, heart attack.'
but now I'm saddened by the goodbye
that won't be.
I can't tell if you care,
but it's the wondering that
has my stomach turned into knots.
I'm departing
from the Cemetary City
But I'll be back soon.

I may pretend to agree with what everyone says.

I don't want to feel spring, 

I don't want to feel winter, 

I don't want to feel fall. 

I just want to feel summer, 

all night long. 

even if you cared.

This pain, 

well it's going to be buried alive. 

I'm on the tightrope above self-destruction. 

But it's not actually that simple, that exaggerated. 

No it's the fear of dying subtly, the fear 

of losing the fire before it has been lit. 

The worse of self-destruction is the 

acceptance of pain. 

Letting pain drown in the blood 

that floods your veins. 

Poisoning your mind to make you think 

of nothing that feels an inch of your body with joy. 

-I'd much rather be happy. 

back into good old habits.

found in a good situations-

a normal pace of heart. 

progressive goals and

true believers in the spirit of summer. 

this is nowhere near over yet. 

left behind.

I'm going to let this excitement

boil in my veins. 

I'm going to escape, 

even if the sky follows me.