to escape without leaving.

somehow I always knew without knowing. 

somehow I'm still living without 

breathing. 

and somewhere inside me knows it will end well. 

i see the sunlight and sand, 

i feel the smile lines on my face. 

-and this will all be worth it. 

the deepest repeat.

everything collapses and nothing makes sense. 

(but it never actually made sense to begin with.) 

I can't decide on which bridge to build. 

I dream about some stolen genius. 

Just because I can't create. 

I can't create without complain. 

I see the world around me as just a 

band aid. 

A useless reminder. 

And my dreams are the scabs that lie underneath.

Forgotten but eroded on my skin.

If I can't remember being comfortable, 

how will I ever be comfortable again? 

Across the Hemisphere & What Brought Us Here.

Here we go-
dissapearing and growing up.
Only to come back to the same place.
What we felt then will be a ghost that
lingers over our memories.
We forgot what it felt like, be we haven't forgotten why it was there.

And the cure failed.
Sleeping in jeans, chasing the sunrise.
Letting the day set in my stomache.
I didn't know how to keep living, but you kept me breathing.
Hanging on to every word, every useless piece of information.
And its all gone now.

We're going to change, and we won't even feel it.
We're going to love everything and we won't even know it.
We're going to smile with our eyes, and learn about the rest of our lives.

Long live these hopeless memories, these scarred realizations.
The madness of our youth brings us to the responsibilites of our adulthood.
And time has been laughing in our faces, all the while long.

refuse to make sense.

i might say that this is dead. 

but this isn't even about you anymore. 

hold shy of the cold 

and the leaves infest the ground. 

everything feels like summer without the things I hate the most. 

on the surface.

Praying in the cemetary 

while the light floods in: 

Fog errupting in our face. 

A gasp of 'i wish you were here.' 

(even if I'm not quite sure who you are). 

Or maybe not. 

maybe in one moment i'm okay with indulging in the moment-

Alone. 

avoiding the conversation outlet that's supposed to keep us together.

Now lets be honest. 

I used to live through the pictures. Wishing I was a lost one. 

In a sea of smoke and cheap alchohol. (weights for the body.) 

but everything seemed so perfectly wrong. No one knew if they were having

a good time, but they were smiling. (everything was fake it just happened to look real.) 

Climbing trees 

while the doubters shout from below: 

Sun is settled in a cloud. 

The only air that exsist is the one escaping my mouth. 

(desperate attempts to breath). 

Or maybe not. 

maybe in one moment i'm okay with drowning in the sky- 

Alone. 

avoiding the complication outlet thats supposed to tear us apart. 

Now lets tell lies. 

The blood knows how to escape my body when I need it the most. Tying loose ends, 

creating the cycle of dissapointment. And I know how it's going to end. (i'm not looking but I can see.) but everything is right when it's wrong. And everything is terrible, but we have no idea why we're smiling. (everything is real we just want it to be fake.)

I don't know why I thought that living my truth while taking part of your lie might be an easy thing.

dull & delusional.

the people look like birds from the sky line. 

i like these lines so much better when they don't come from my mind. 

somedays I just want to be a shadow. 

there are some things you will not be able to understand. because i don't understand myself.

everything is perfect because of hope. without it we fall apart. 

lets just fall apart one night. 

never said.

They help untangle the animal 

thats been freed from the hunter's grasp...

The fantasy in which I've been living in in my head, 

has pulled itself to an abrupt halt. 

I loose my small sense of sanity and comfort 

along the way. 

But while others see this as an opportunity to 

bring life to an end, 

I only see more reason to keep on living. 

My curiosity keeps me alive. 

And I have nowhere to go, but I keep going.