it's over but we're wide awake waiting for the next day.

the snow makes our faces 

wet with youth. 

we confess our places

and our truly out of place wishes. 

our dreams seep through the roof.

we're surrounded by walls

but we're as free as the leaves.

swinging from branches

waiting for the right time to leave.

and i hope to look through this

and see past the wrong 

straight through to the right. 

if i'm allowed to search for the moon at night.

i may be able to search for the one to make my heart right.

all with peace & love & freedom. 

it begins before it's over, it's over before it begins.

here's a toast to making it through another 12 months 

of living & learning. and learning to live, and living to learn. 

we'll repeat the celebration that can never grow old. 

we are new so we can try again.

Summer/Snow.

we've been looking at everything from the surface.

the truth rises from the dust that we've

been trying to sweep away since last year.

our lies unfold like flowers on that 

unexpected spring day. 

we are who we are set to be 

making decisions every second

fighting and breaking chances. 

when we're gone we're still here. 

when we're here we're far gone. 

we make sun angels on the green grass.

the smiles will fade and return

i will collapse and rebuild myself. 

as the days go on to weeks. 

it only takes hours to reveal the birth of a new day.

why be numb to something i can so easily accept?

silent streets on madison.

the dead city stirs with anticipation. 

this is the day after the storm. 

freezing with hope and wishes. 

the streetlights and stoplights 

twinkle in the distance. 

we wait.

aggressive silence.

the cold fights against our insides

making pillows of smoke as 

life escapes our bodies.

i'm afraid of the fear that isn't even there. 

and i'm immune to disappointment. 

failure is a lie- we're not losing

we're learning. 

and every step is a choice that awaits. 

like a flame inside me 

my hope burns and rebuilds. 

dreaming on a fire escape.

the night lasts all day. 

i'm never really over the dreams 

i just can't seem to remember them. 

the wants fade to an unknown memory. 

i won't be able to look back and laugh. 

just look back and vaguely remember. 

the temperature drops lower. 

our heads bow to the 

aggressive wind. 

all these years and i'm still not immune 

to city winters. 

illuminated night sky.

rain of joy. 

we cast our eyes into the lights. 

jaded misfits among the rest. 

we shine like stars in a sky 

when we know where we belong. 

but back inside i don't know where to go. 

and i could fix this. 

but i need the right tools. 

garden of concrete. 

eyelashes wearing snow.

i wondered and i wished. 

i hope for your health

but know we need this type of departure. 

i let myself get wrapped out 

recently hiding a wound

but the wound is exposed 

and it's being left out in the sleet. 

under a navy cold sky, 

we escape to our homes 

moving as quick as our feet will allow us. 

this is to time moving quickly past our minds. 

we love what we've lost,

and make room for more to come. 

lost for.

we start new weeks with the same intent. 

these bad days don't even feel bad anymore. 

these cold days hardly feel cold anymore. 

i have the memories that add up to nothing. 

cold in the creases of my mind. 

"don't take this the wrong way"

don't take this any way. 

if i never knew i know now. 

dancing life.

we feel like ants next to this major silence.

only talking and staring when it's right 

to stare. 

the more i feel, the less reaction i get. 

where has the boldness gone-will it ever be back? 

and now i have this past 

staring into the face of my future. 

and now i know that there's plans. 

i just don't knew when- or how they'll take place. 

i take steps through figuring out my needs. 

i need the right someone, sometime now. 

bridges.

time is moving fast above and below us. 

everything has changed 

but everything is the same. 

we're still silent before the morning comes in.

we can't see the world turn

yet we know its moving. 

- i can't hold you tightly

but i know your heart is beating. 

streetlights and/or spotlights.

the push harder syndrome. 

there's probably a list of reasons for these reasons. 

catch me rising and falling

to the copycat of bad days. 

you won't open your mouth 

if you have nothing to say. 

but you say everything. 

even if my head is telling me something

put it on speaker, 

because i'm not sure i'm listening. 

silent in pieces.

the dawn looks like night. 

we stand cold 

awaiting what's next. 

this is most days 

this is everyday until the sun 

rises before we do. 

what i would trade.

hazy days. 

but we still move on regardless 

of mistakes and laughter. 

inside of our hearts is hope and love. 

but it gets blurred. 

and when we feel ready we restore it to clearness. 

i miss everything and nothing at all.

fire sunrise.

printed across our faces.
blank expressions that seem to mean everything.
but it goes on
and we come to expect it,
and never know when the right time is to change it.
i wear my heart on my hands.
open and waiting.

winter's start (memories finish).

during the late sunrise 

i shiver

every thing's back to normal 

but my expectations show greater than i would like. 

in the corner of my eye i see nothing

in the corners of my heart i feel everything. 

lost in loneliness. 

we fight our minds 

constant begging 

for something more than we can reach for. 

some lies that settle in with our truths. 

there aren't any more leaves 

just the branches crashing together. 

we never look up at them anyhow. 

our eyes our buried in the ground, 

they're grazing store windows

searching for a greater want. 

i'm just searching for answers 

with my eyes closed 

with trust on the tip of my tongue. 

absence of space.

i'm specializing in opportunity missing. 

once and twice and three times where it really hurts. 

but things are open ended and can begin anytime any place. 

so why not now? 

why not now so we can have forever?