vulnerable soul.

maybe one day 

someone will take initiative

to study the person inside of me. 

someone to teach me how to be me. 

teach me how to love me. 

the whens and the whys eventually disappear 

a heartbreaking melody will play

giving incentive to the people

who are to righteous to feel. 

just this once 

just under this moonlight. 

at the top of the bottom.

i'm a whale stuck in a puddle. 

why does the worst from you 

bring out a best in me? 

so they want me to expand from beneath the carpet. 

find out i have wings and attempt to 

spread them a bit. 

but i am the moth.

gravitating towards the flame i know i can't have,

greedily flapping my wings around the glow. 

but i am a bird. 

during the winter

i run to warmth and blame the cold for chasing me there.

24 hour paradise. 

What is it that i don't have? 

stop being the flame, stop being the puddle, stop being the cold. 

playing 'victim' when i clearly know the consequences surrounding me.

(but today I woke up against the sun, today is a good day. 

and everyday is a good day because my heart is still beating.) 

under the bridge.

if we pretend hard enough, 

maybe we can live like this forever. 

with a written apology that only 

seems right for the screen. 

and for a second we'll remember 

who we were before everyone else's 

opinion set in. 

before we settled for a parody of life.

never mind who i am, never mind who i'll become, 

as long as i'm destroying the doubt around me, 

i'm bound to see the sun. 

and if only for a moment 

will you see, 

that all of this pain creates a better me. 

and we'll live happily ever after,

even if it's on different sides of the earth. 

With My Eyes Closed: (part three: And Then.)

they took me to the monument

of hatred and lost control. 

i took a step back feeling uneasy 

feeling used 

and accused 

just when you thought everyone was telling the truth. 

just when your head starts spinning- 

they took me to the monument

of love and timeless moments

i took a step foward feeling grateful

feeling beautiful 

feeling ageless

just when everyone starts holding out their hand

just when my mind decides to stop thinking. 

-everything is right even when it's wrong.

With My Eyes Closed: (part two: Apparently Comfortable.)

faulty trains and fire starters

tell me i won't have to wait much longer. 

parallel to this disaster 

unaware of its tragedy 

i know the moon is eclipsing me. 

try but i might, 

lift the stars further away 

just so i have something 

to reach toward. 

from head to pavement, 

you've made this subtle attempt 

to try and break my crown of sanity. 

the more you lose feeling 

the more you lose me.

i am an unwrapped gift 

so excitedly forgotten

the susupense is near end. 

i'm glad you've decided to drop in. 

With My Eyes Closed: (part one: False Honesty.)

enclosed around me the Air is my enemy

a fragile fighter without 

a cause but with much repetition.

i lose sight as i gasp for this 

hostile prison guard.

i trace light, but

why must i want what i can't have?

bound in the fever that is my hot blood

boiling throughout my body.

i suffocate on the lost memories.

the salt water rising 

between my teeth and toungue. 

Air presents a modern apology.

smiliing with its eyes closed 

even though we always make 

eye contact with those we want 

to forget. 

Air is pulling my feelings into this case. 

easily breakable and afraid. 

the fear increases. 

they will look to the bottom 

i will remain forgotten. 

true heroes are never realeased from reputation. 

broken rules.

rolling in a thick storm

of familiarity. 

i'm not a favorite among 

liars and friends. 

just a passerby 

determined in my mind

for something great. 

for something better than 

the storm that currently clouds

my surroundings and my head. 

tangent of hope. 

let me see for myself. 

(when it rains, i open up the window and breathe.)

things i ask the sky.

i always end with the question, 

'what do you want from me?' 

never bothering to ask myself 

beforehand, what i want from me. 

i despise being the door without 

the handle. locked away forever. 

i once could only breathe in alone. 

now i fight the fierce desire to breath with others. 

i can't ignore the secrets i keep to myself. 

the ones that appear in my head when i least expect it. 

here's  an opportunity, 

i'm going to ask myself if i should take it.

laughing without sound.

if you're gonna miss me don't let me go. 

i'm two feet away 

from jumping out the window 

losing the ground beneath me

the easiest way to be free. 

escaping the pavement of my mind 

just a little breath of wind 

before i commit the crime 

of closing my mouth when it's time to speak up

just a child of the wind 

just a criminal amongst the trees 

leave me to the restlessness of my beating heart.

just don't leave me alone.