sharing smiles with strangers.

i asked myself and I asked the wind

"why linger so long?" 

these are better days 

proving that good times can happen when the wind is being harsh on our skin.

you give a brisk smile. 

the sun hides from view 

and the concrete floors we walk on our rough and uninviting.

but the blood pumping through our veins 

are warm and familiar.

the muscles in your mouth twitch with understanding. 

if only you could reassure me with you eyes again.

sunday spontaneity. 

i wished for erasure and clearing. 

my mind cleared itself of all impossible.

living by your words. 

i'm thanking you. 

i repeatedly said that the only thing thats making me happy is a thousand miles away.

i never thought that i was falling into the trap of missing what's in front of me.

i'm thanking his patience. his trying.

i'm trying to make up for what I was supposed to be doing all along. 

i'm thanking my heart for catching up with my brain. 

i'm thanking the sunny days in between the grey ones. 

i'm closing my eyes only to smile, only to laugh. 

it's crazy how things are different. 

i'm happy because of what's surrounding me. 

a thousand miles is nothing, but it doesn't mean a thing when i'm not molding a life similar to mine. 

those were hopes and wishes. unstable frustration. 

these are prayers and conversations. 

i love the fact that i'm able to breathe without a thought of doubt crossing my mind.

your human, i'm human. 

we're fools in love, but not in love with each other.

this is the way it's supposed to be. 

this is the lesson learned. 

the loss of the wrong, the win of the right. 

if only i was allowed to say this to his face instead of trying to convey affection through glances and small phrases. but we're examples. 

and the months aren't that far away.

one countdown ends, another begins. 

this is my countdown to wanting someone who wants me.