the days to lie are the days to tell the truth

the sky goes black with our memories, but not really. I'm thinking about regret. there's blue and purple above us as the sun makes its exit.bridge under clouds. pressure, density. I can't describe this. words get washed away with the wind. I've been doing this 'suddenly' thing lately. best friends can steal from eachother. you feel like a best friend. jeans are wet in the knees. its not even raining anymore. I've done this before. no lullabye to sing me to sleep. no use in counting sheep. fear punches like a fist into my heart. its a close second. everday seems like a cycle. the morning feels like a completely different day. I was never able to do this before. three more years of this. I'm not sure I can feel inside myself anymore. your opinion is the only one that matters.your words opposite mine. in a mirror we're always facing backwards to eachother. this will keep happening every year. I'll just find new ways to express it. I can't close my eyes without imagining you beside me. ego issues that would only surface under pressure. lets hope we never get to that point. its amazing how many things I can put myself through.take life with the punches. I didn't think I needed you that bad.unapitizing arguments. I already know you're not going anywhere now. we almost find it attractive. the heaviness of your eyes. the moons under them dark without life. It's always too this or too that. we can't help but do this to ourselves. I want to see you without the face you put on for the rest of us.