the truth is that i'd jump off a mountain

i'm tired of this. your here today. not to far. it's kind of scary. I'm sending out a search party. nothings working and suddenly I'm compelled. I don't know whats driven me to this point. your face or your words. i think it was your words. how close they are. I could skip out on my life tonight. come see you. just keep riding past my stop. the more i think the more i convince myself. just for you. this is a new low. this is so low. but i can't seem to figure out any of your clues. and you keep yourself so well hidden. and i can never get close to anything I want. anything I need. it's so scary that i'm supposed to be somewhere. that my chances are low this time around. you're here. i'm here. I'm overthinking this. Somehow it makes sense in my head to think about this so much. no space on the floor. I don't care. I miss my clear head. I miss not caring. it's funny how i was starting not to care. How i wasn't excited to see you. Now you're here. And I'm anxiouse, and dissapointed. I'm trying to hard not to care, when the truth is all I want to do is see you. Talk to you. Tell you how much I don't love you. Share things with you. This all can't happen. I'm aware of that. But I'm done with dreaming and wishing. Its driving me crazy, making me feel crazy. We'll see what happens tonight. This is me giving up on you. Or at least me trying to.